i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Someone shattered a urinal.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
