i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she told me i tasted like america
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
not ubering you a puppy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize