This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
