Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
