I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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