ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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