my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
