I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
