I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
