Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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