they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
