I smell stomach acid.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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