Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I FOUND THE LEGS
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
