maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
