I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
