that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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