i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
