What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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