No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
