Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
