Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
