:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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