I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
