I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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