i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
