We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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