Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
