i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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