Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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