No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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