Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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