have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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