Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
