I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
