Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Someone signed my nipple.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
