if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize