i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
