This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Randomize
