bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Fuck appropriateness.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
