remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
