i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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