he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
worst night to have a conscience
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
