Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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