i think my mom watched the whole time
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
