I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dick very happy bro
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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