I can tuck mytits in my pants
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
