i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
