I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
