i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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