i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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