Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fuck me I smell like cheese
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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