im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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