maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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