i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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