i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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