I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
