Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Randomize
