Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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