how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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