I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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