we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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