ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
