Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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