not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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