I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
