if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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